This is a true story. Some of my friends have asked me to write my story out for a few years. Above I will share a picture of me working out on the Kennon Ranch. My husband Ed passed away this winter. So Matt, Lainee and I, are starting a new season of life.
Fifteen years ago, I was 43. We had just moved to the Springfield, Missouri area. We bought 3 acres and built a pole barn, pulled the RV inside, set up a pellet stove and a living room, and prepared to build a house. It was adventurous to say the least. Ed took Matt and went to St. Joseph for the weekend, to work at the sporting goods store. I couldn’t get my phone to call outside the metal building. So I would always have to walk to a window to get service. Having no computer access, I decided to go to the library, and hunt for things on line for the house. Funny how the scriptures are true…God really does order our steps.
I had been there for a while, and my leg fell asleep. I couldn’t get it to wake up. So I decided I would get up and leave. The feeling started to come back, and then left again. as I was passing in front of the Librarian’s desk, I dropped my purse. The feeling completely drained from my leg and arm. I looked at the two women behind the desk and said, “There is something wrong, and I don’t know what it is.” The older of the two women, looked at me and in a gentle tone said, “Honey I think I know what it is, and I know what to do. We’re going to get you a chair to sit down in. Now you sit real still. Do you have a phone? Good, can you call your husband, and tell him you have to go to the hospital.”
The Paramedics were loading me into the Ambulance, and one said to the other, “I think we got here in under 15 minutes, didn’t we?” I started to answer her, and all that came out of my mouth was gibberish. I could understand everything that was going on, and all that was spoken. They drove quickly to the hospital, and rolled me into a small room. It was a stroke…a bleed in my brain…and it was massive. I laid there with the doctor and nurse checking on me, for hours. I started talking to the Lord, in my mind. Then I looked, and another realm opened before me. I saw angels encircled about me, ministering to my body, and waiting to see if God was going to take me home. I wasn’t afraid. I never knew, there would be angels there when I died. I spoke to God in my mind and said, “God…I’m ready if you want to take me home. But it took us so long to have Matt. I would like to finish raising him. I put my life in your hands, do your will Lord.”
I was in ICU, it was touch and go for 3 days. I would frequently stop breathing, so they put a CPAP machine on me, to help me breathe. When I came to, I was completely paralyzed on my right side. My right foot had turned inward, and was frozen in place, I could not read, write, or understand the meaning of numbers. I could not speak. It felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. But I could talk to the Lord in my mind and spirit. Deep calling unto deep, nothing can separate us from God or His love. They say that whatever you learn in school, can never be taken away from you. But that’s not really true now, is it? And at that moment, I knew only two things. That God loved me, because he loved my father before me. And I knew that He could do anything. I believe God will prepare us for the battles we fight. I had great faith, because of what happened to my Dad. He was dying in the hospital with Tuberculosis when I was 3. He believed in Jesus, and Jesus instantly healed him. That is when I met Jesus…and fell in love with Him.
They propped me up in bed. It was if the Holy Spirit was holding me, and speaking in my ears…all day, everyday…He was a cloud about me. He was reminding me of Bible Stories, and stories of the people He had healed. He spoke encouraging words to me. He said to me, this was a test. He wanted me to remember how Daniel prayed, and his prayer was answered right away. But it took time for him to receive that answer. I prayed asking Jesus to heal me. They moved me to the rehabilitation area of the hospital. I was the person in the worst shape…no one was worse. They put me in a wheel chair. This was the first time I looked into a mirror. The first time that I could see, that the right side of my face had fallen, as if it were melted in a fire. It was the biggest shock of all. I had no idea.
As I was praying the next day, I looked up and Jesus was sitting there. He was saying, “I am going to lay my hand on you and heal you. It isn’t going to be an instant healing like your Dad had. But it will be a progressive healing. I want you to learn many things through this process.” He spoke to me some about other things as well. He told me how to pray everyday, so the Holy Spirit could intercede for me. I said, “Lord if you are going to heal me, would you start with my face. It’s the one good thing I had going for me. I will do everything in my power, to work hard, I’ll do my part.”
The doctor met with his staff and when they discussed my case. He told them that he didn’t look for me to make any progress. A bleed is the worst kind of stroke. And if you survive it, the diagnosis is usually not good. One of the therapists came and found me after the meeting. He wanted to know what I thought. I said, “The doctor doesn’t know that Jesus spoke to me and told me He was going to heal me. So I choose to believe what Jesus said.” He pulled out this wand that had an electric current going through it. He said, “Well let’s see.” He ran the wand up and down my right arm and leg. I couldn’t feel anything, but both were jumping all over the place. He said, “I believe Jesus IS going to heal you. Hold onto that, no matter what anyone else says.” Three days later, my face went back into place.
I was awakened every morning at 6:00am, and did therapy from 9:00am-3:00pm. If a patient couldn’t do their therapy, they would ask if I wanted to do it at the end of my day. I always said yes. At the end of my all day work outs, I took Tylenol, and literally fell into bed exhausted. But the next morning I could move again. I started to regain my speech quickly. I read lists of words daily, to reboot them into my memory. A plastic boot was placed on my foot to straiten it out. I never knew before, that healing can be a very painful process. I know that is something the Lord weighs, in situations like mine. Will that person be able to take the pain. The Lord told me that many people don’t receive healing, because they feel pain…and just give up. But you have to push through the pain to get the healing. That is true for the body, as well as the emotions and the spirit.
I began to get feeling back on my right side. first I could wiggle my toes, then more until I had feeling in my leg, then my mid section, my neck, face, and arm. Everything was starting to return except my hand. At that time, an old friend came to see a missionary there. She remembered me. As a college student she had became bedridden, and went to a meeting where she was healed. I had seen her story several times on the 700 Club. She talked with me, and said that the hand was always the last thing to come back. She knew this because she had talked to many people that this had happened to. She said, “I believe you are going to get the feeling back in your hand, and walk out of here in 3 weeks.” That day I told my Physical Therapist to schedule for me to leave the hospital in 3 weeks. He sad they might not let me go. I told him I was leaving in 3 weeks and no one was going to stop me. “In that case, we need to get you out of that wheelchair, and you need to start walking.” Walking again, was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I was sweating bullets. My mind was willing my stubborn limbs to move. Finally at some point, they began to obey. I always worked out my left side along with the right. The muscle memory one side, helped the other side come back to life.
I began reading the Bible from the book of Job. Numbers were making sense again. The nurses really liked me, and started everyday, by gathering in my room. One of them came to me crying, and said, “We’ve never seen anyone go from where you started, to the place you are now. And when people get sick like this, they are always cranky and mean. But you are always so nice to everyone, and cheerful…everyday.” I said, “What you are seeing, is the Lord working in my life. And He is speaking to me everyday.” We pushed everything as hard as we could. And as I watched the other patients work out, or go through their day, God gave me words of encouragement for them. He increased the areas in my life that were giftings. And 3 weeks later, after I had been in the hospital for 3 months, I walked out of the hospital with a cane. I kept getting better everyday. Whenever I felt pain for a day or two, I would get more healing.
I have tried to work hard most days. I have changed my life, changed my eating habits, go to the gym and exercise, have gotten in good shape. I was taking 6 medicines, and now I take one. I recently got my own insurance and got a low rate. I had just had a check up, and the agent could see my information. He said that I got the lower rate because he put me in a group. I asked what group was I in? He said, “You are in the group of the people, in the best health for your age group.” Well I’ll receive that! Each step of the way, I have seen God do some pretty miraculous things in my life. Most people don’t know that I have been through this kind of a trial…you can’t tell by looking. I am grateful everyday for God’s answers, both large and small. And yet this alone cannot define my life entirely…because my life is not done yet. I am preparing for a new season, and there is more to come. Adventure, deeper times with the Lord, happiness, joyful times with other people, fulfillment and satisfaction that comes from His hand. Through my ordeal I can tell you:
We are tested and then we are rewarded…sometimes in Heaven, and also on the earth… in our everyday lives. No matter what life holds for you in the coming weeks and months…Have a little Faith. Your God parted the Red Sea for the Israelites. He closed the mouth of the Lion, when Daniel was thrown into the den. Shadrack, Meshack and Abednego were thrown into the fiery furnace, and they did not die. Jesus was right there with them. Joseph, the dreamer, was enslaved. But God used what looked like a curse, into a blessing. And he became one of the rulers of Egypt. When my Father believed in Jesus, he was healed of TB. And when I was paralyzed, God raised me up and healed me. And He will be at your side, no matter what you face. Take heart, for He will never leave you or forsake you. Blessings my friends and much love to you and yours!